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Yakira: Values are hard
Over the past 18 months, I've had a few procedures on my knee. Arthritis has set up camp, and after years of tolerating it, I decided to see if anything could be done about it. After each procedure, my doctor would say something to the effect of, 'it will take about 6 - 8 weeks to recover. The word recover felt sticky. I began to wonder what exactly it means to recover. Logically it's a simple instruction and makes sense. Be patient, go easy, and my knee will be returned to some previous state. However, I could not break free of my inquiry into what does recovery really means, and do I actually want it?
Words matter. I liken them as seeds planted in our psyche and take root, building the foundation for our thoughts and belief systems. Thoughts become things. When I'm feeling particularly reflective, I have a tendency to dig into what words mean to me.
Flash forward to COVID, massive loss of life, social distancing, self-quarantine, economy on hold, job loss, etc. History books may define this as the age of the pivot—massive disruption on every level that has caused many to pause and reflect on what is really important. Again, I keep hearing the word recover tossed around paired with the magical thinking of getting 'back to normal' one day.
I sat in an inquiry of what is it to recover? What is the destination of 'back to normal?' I realized when I connected this whole getting 'back to normal' magical thinking with the word recover, I realized neither was in my best interest!
To recovery, I say 'no thanks.' Why would I want to go back and re-cover the problem I was trying to eliminate?! Recover to me means to re-cover something so I can't see it anymore, to hide it. 'Successful' recovery for my knee would mean returning to how it was, which got me into the doctor's office in the first place.